Fool for Love
by ShannonL
Summary: For Cynthia's "Be Nice to Jun" contest. Hurt, Jun ponders on love and life and makes a surprising resolution....


Standard Disclaimer: I'm flattered that you believe I'm some big shot that owns Digimon, but I'm not. Sadly that pleasure belongs to Toei, Saban, and Bandai. Though in wanting to own Digimon, well that is at the tiptop of my wish list.

Well, as you probably guessed from the summary, this fic is for Cynthia's "Be Nice to Jun" contest. Contrary to my title says, this means this is a non-bash ficcie. But since my philosophy is don't bash the characters, this isn't too surprising, neh? I've tried to portray Jun the way I think she would react after being rejected since she's so woefully underdeveloped on the show so I don't really how she'd react, and therefore a treat for an author to work with. In other words this is an "I'm hurt but I'm still kicking" kinda fic. Oh, better mention these things before I ramble on farther. There is Kensuke and one mention of Taito in the fic. Yep, these are boy/boy relationships. Kindly use your preferred method of webpage exit if you have a problem with that. There's also very little mention of Matt here. I'll refer to him once or twice as him or he, but that's it. How did I pull of the Taito if Matt's pretty well not mentioned? Read and see.

All flames will be fed to my furnace as always. 

__

Fool for Love

By ShannonL

Love.

I know all about _that_. You wouldn't suppose I did however. You wouldn't suppose the bubble-brained twit, thick-skinned and all around man-eater Jun Motomiya would know about a trivial thing called love. Oh no, not possibly _that_.

Yes — _that_.

The heart is something I learnt well. How it swoons on its first meeting, how it trusts on its first date, and how it shatters; shatters like crystal on its last rejection, and keeps on breaking even as the love has left nothing but desolate, empty dreams and corrupted memories. Full of longing for the fulfillment of those hollow promises of long ago and for something whose depths and mystery challenge even the most empathic and profound of philosophers, the heart moves on, seeking, searching. Hunting for someone, anyone that will glue back the pieces, making it pure and unblemished, wants the love to heal all its hideous scars.

The heart is a fool for love.

And the person is a fool for the heart.

You can pick your jaw off the floor now. Jun Motomiya admit she was a fool? I did. I was foolish for following my heart. For being sincere, and allowing my true feelings to shine forth for the one I'd cared about. Fool for allowing myself to be so naïve to think he'd ever want to be with me, when he'd much rather be with Tai.

So be it.

I'd rather be the fool than be the stone that denies its true self and nature. I'd rather be tormented than suffer the worst torment itself, wearing the mask of the imposter, the charlatan as so many of our world do.

Though I wouldn't wish my sorrows on anybody else.

It's unspeakably cruel that they must endure them however. Take my brother, Davis. He dotes on this brown haired girl named Kari, whose smile is so sweet, that one glance of it would send the ordinary mortal straight to the hospital, suffering from an acute case of heartache and diabetes. I can see why he likes her. She has the poise of a queen, with the dignified good looks to match. Her manner with people parallels her regal beauty. Kari's so kind, so compassionate —so sugary sweet that I need to make an appointment with my dentist, pronto. To all people…except, yes, Davis. She treats him like a playtoy, like a mouse she can bat around all day long. Even though Davis is hardly guiltless in this whole affair (Heck, in a love triangle, is anybody innocent?), some of the things she _says_…well, it makes me want to shake her until she apologizes for her razor barbed words! But I don't. Davis would hate me for that, and I don't want to lose the person who shares even a slightest bit of empathy for my situation. So I stay silent. Silent and watch Davis, and the multitudes of others worship this perfect, light giving, radiant child, who is not so perfect as many believe.

Suffice to say, he, like I, doesn't have the grandest of luck when it comes to the opposite sex.

Not to say he's completely struck by what I've dubbed the Motomiya curse when it comes to his own gender. No, no, not indeed.

Ken. I'd say he was the best thing that happened to that brother of mine. Davis seems more alive, complete when that kid's around, wrapping him up in his strong, muscular arms and warm, tender kisses. With his support, Davis is finally burying this Kari-girl thing where it belongs — six feet under. I'm glad he's not pining away for something that would only tear open fresh wounds hidden in what I know to be a bleeding soul. He has someone to love that will love him just as much for his flaws as for the gentle, honest heart that beats inside my brother. He still cares for the girl deeply, as he will stick by her as a friend forever, but no longer will he be her servant, a puppy following its master for meager scraps of affection. Moreover for the fact that Ken is one hundred percent male and last time I checked, I had a brother, not a sister? I don't give a flying flip on the matter. You fall for whom you fall for, and they fell _hard_. Besides they are so _cute_ together, and so very close. I can see the day when they get married and adopt a few rascals of their own. Mmm…Auntie Jun. I relish the though already.

But I digress way, _way_ too much. What was I talking about before I got so swept off course? Ah, yes, love. Who better to speak than the fool for love herself? Who better to know that we are all fools for love – that we would do anything for it and the ones our hearts choose to cherish?

Perhaps you don't believe me. I wouldn't be surprised. I lost all credibility and decency in the eyes of all who saw me, as soon as I went after the unattainable — _him_. Why should you be any different, when almost everyone is the same? If you aren't, I don't care. I'll keep smiling, keep laughing though I'd rather be crying, keep my thick armor to ward off blows intended for me.

Keep being the fool for love and hoping, someday, someway, love will be a fool for me.

The end.

Well how was that? On an unrelated note, Balance fans please don't pepper my mailbox with death threats asking for the next chapter of Balance. I'm working on that and some precursors (Amazed era) to plug up a few holes in the timeline. Please be patient, my schoolwork has been very heavy since I have just written several university entrance exams. But now, hopefully my schedule will clear up some and I can devote more time and energy to my fics.

By the way, anyone else see the new episodes? In my opinion, they were _well_ worth the wait. ~ Thinks about the scene where Ken and Davis's hearts beat as one ~ Oh yes, they were _very _well done…

Ja ne!

ShannonL.


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